| Death by Ants |
| Chad's Letters | |||
| Written by Chad Bradley | |||
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One day, a letter from Norwich Union popped through Chad Bradley's front door, offering "Accidental Death Benefit Cover" for a competitive price. Chad felt that was a little morbid, but the same could not be said of his good friend, Frangelo Bumspaq. Although Frangelo's grammar is a little rough, he wrote to Norwich Union to request a quote and claim a free pen. But when their quote arrived he realised there was an important omission - so he wrote back... Dear sir or madam (Norwich Union), Thank-you for you're offer of 20000 pounds Accidental Death Benefit Cover for just 1.99 a month. You’re offer sounds very good. Of course I have'nt found out about offers like it, but why need to? As I said (above) you're offer is hard to turn down. But I was wondering if you're Accidental Death Benefit Cover would cover me if I was killed and eaten by ants. I know it sounds odd!! But a very close friends uncle sadly passed away from ants in such a way when staying in Suth America. It was awful, and I won't say anyhting else mainly from respect, but what was worst was that my friends aunt AND neither her children were'nt "entitled to claim insurance" because his tragic death was not considered an accident. His aunt did'nt think ants were complex enough to "be capable of intent", but the insurance company (who shall remain nameless) thought they were, since as a colony ants are "capable of intent", and are more clever than on they're own, and so it was'nt an accident. I give this example because I would'nt probably want to have Accidental Death Benefit Cover from someone who was as sly as my friends uncles insurance people. I would like to think that my wife and children, if I had them, would be able to pay for my funeral even if I died in such a tragic way as to be eaten by ants. Obviously ants in Britain, or any insects, are not dangerous enough to kill and eat me, and I have'nt plan to go to South America, but I see this issue as an example of what an insurer is like. Thankyou, Frangelo Bumspaq. There's a new Chad letter every week. Don't just visit and forget - get RollZero's weekly email for more Chaddy goodness, plus extra stuff like brilliant/stupid links from around the electrical webnet, competitions, aimless rambling and more. Sign-up at the top of this page. For mini Chad-isms and idiot wisdom, follow him on Twitter. Dear Mr Bumspaq, Thank you for your recent letter concerning our special £20,000 Accidental Death Benefit Insurance offer for a monthly premium of £1.99. We can confirm that being eaten by ants is not an exclusion under the terms and conditions of this accidental death benefit insurance policy. We are taking the opportunity to enclose a specimen policy document which fully details our terms and conditions. You will see from this that the policy will not cover death from sickness, disease or any medical condition. Should you meet with an accidental injury which is the sole cause of death, however, the benefit will be paid to your legal representative. There would be no payment in the event of a non-accidental death and there is no surrender value. We hope this clarifies the situation but if you require any further information please do not hesitate to contact us on 01494 738811 and we will be happy to help. Yours sincerely Melanie Burchell Policy Issue Manager Hey you! Sign up for the RollZero weekly email (top of this page). It's lo-fi and cosy, plus we promise your details won't be sold to evil Nigerian scammers. Unlike your kidneys.
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