RollZero is the website of Pixelsmith, a journalist from England. He writes funny complaint letters as Chad Bradley; posts angry tech news as Murphy Simmonds; witters about his life in Pix's Column and sends out weekly nonsense in the Electric Letter (sign up for that above).
 Pix's Column | Pixelsmith | Tue 16 March 2010 MR KIPLING is bad in bed. This bombshell was dropped during a TV ad break last weekend and the sheer shock of it immediately smashed at least three distinct taboos in my head. It is the fault of an advert for Mr Kipling's Oatibake cakes. You may have seen it. It marks the official debut of Mr Kipling's wife, Mrs Kipling, who reveals at the outset that she is not getting "enough oats". Hilarity ensues as Mr Kipling ignores the double entendre and, being a fictional construct who exists solely to promote cakes, responds by baking a cake. With... Continued
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The Shed | 2 Mar 80 per cent of the web is flesh coloured. We can't remember where we heard that statistic - probably our own heads - but it tells us that most of the data pinging across... Continued
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Pix's Column | 22 Feb A MAN needs a hat. I think that's written down somewhere, in the big book of things a man needs to own if he is to be considered a man. A hat, that's one. A watch, there... Continued
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The Shed | 15 Feb Remember internet fridges? Obviously you don't, because they never really happened, but there was a time when they were being touted as the next big thing. The idea was ... Continued
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The Shed | 8 Feb Apple should make a dildo. The fancy pants tech giant behind the iPod, iMac, iPhone and now the upcoming iPad has a knack of making stuff we've successfully ignored for ... Continued
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Pix's Column | 4 Feb LAST month, I turned into a 30-year-old. This threw up a number of problems, chief among which was the acknowledgement that I am now, irrefutably, an adult and am thus o... Continued
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The Shed | 31 Jan People. Look at people. Aren't they stupid? Look at the way they move, tottering and waddling about on the long, thick arms that stick out of their arses. Legs, they cal... Continued
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Reviews | 26 Jan Bayonetta's got guns on her feet. She also beats angels to death, wears a catsuit made from her own hair and randomly sprouts butterfly wings from her shoulders, but eve... Continued
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Reviews | 19 Jan Remember 2009? No, us neither. We're all about 2010 here, and the fact that we can't decide whether to call it "two thousand and ten", "twenty ten" or "ten past eight" i... Continued
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The Shed You know what? If we all end up as horrific whale people, then that’s fair enough. Whatever our disgusting future selves are plugged into will have to be pretty damn i... Continued
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Chad's Letters Dear British Egg Information Service - First things first. Thank you ever so much for being involved with eggs. I love eggs. I can stare at them for hours on end before ... Continued
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Random Guff PART three in a theoretically endless series of painfully invasive internal examinations of the beautiful men and women of The Bruces, a World of Warcraft guild on the A... Continued
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Chad's Letters Dear Ackerman Group I brought some of your maggots in muddy slime, and I think its cool. My friends all think its cool as well. I put some in Michaels shoes after PE, an... Continued
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