RollZero is the website of Pixelsmith, a journalist from England. He writes funny complaint letters as Chad Bradley; posts angry tech news as Murphy Simmonds; witters about his life in Pix's Column and sends out weekly nonsense in the Electric Letter (sign up for that above). 
 The Shed | Murphy Simmonds | Mon 8 February 2010
Apple should make a dildo. The fancy pants tech giant behind the iPod, iMac, iPhone and now the upcoming iPad has a knack of making stuff we've successfully ignored for years appear utterly essential. We bimbled around like idiots with an actual cassette player until the iPod came along. We carried a text-only WAP-enabled hunk of plastic guff in our pockets until the iPhone made us drool. And we used a stupid old PC until... well, we still use a stupid old PC because we like it when it breaks. Keeps us on our toes.
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Pix's Column | 4 Feb LAST month, I turned into a 30-year-old. This threw up a number of problems, chief among which was the acknowledgement that I am now, irrefutably, an adult and am thus o... Continued
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The Shed | 31 Jan People. Look at people. Aren't they stupid? Look at the way they move, tottering and waddling about on the long, thick arms that stick out of their arses. Legs, they cal... Continued
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Reviews | 26 Jan Bayonetta's got guns on her feet. She also beats angels to death, wears a catsuit made from her own hair and randomly sprouts butterfly wings from her shoulders, but eve... Continued
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Reviews | 19 Jan Remember 2009? No, us neither. We're all about 2010 here, and the fact that we can't decide whether to call it "two thousand and ten", "twenty ten" or "ten past eight" i... Continued
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Pix's Column | 14 Jan I turned 30 last week. I was expecting big things, hoping that my clock would flick from 19 minutes past midnight to 20 minutes past - the time of my birth - and I would... Continued
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Pix's Column | 11 Jan I WAS listening to a story on the radio recently. It was a special investigation into online bullying, highlighting the way that social networking and instant messaging ... Continued
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Random Guff | 6 Jan You know videogames? They're the things you plug into your telly to let you punch terrorists in the face. There's an Xboy and a Plastic Station and a Wiffit for girls th... Continued
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Pix's Column | 3 Jan HELLO and welcome to 2010. It's great, isn't it? I'm currently flying around in my hovercar, munching on a couple of food pills and writing this via a special helmet whi... Continued
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Chad's Letters Dear Golden Wonder - Can you please point out the difference between crisps and snacks? My favourite Golden Wonder product is Wheat Crunchies, and I would like to know i... Continued
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Pix's Column I WENT shopping in Leeds on Sunday. It’s my super secret tactic for avoiding the Christmas crowds, although the number of people out and about suggested that somebody ... Continued
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Random Guff You know videogames? They're the things you plug into your telly to let you punch terrorists in the face. There's an Xboy and a Plastic Station and a Wiffit for girls th... Continued
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The Shed Hair is a powerful thing. Whether you want more of it, less of it, or simply an improved version of what you already have, these clumped strings of keratinized protein f... Continued
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