INSPIRED by three people in a sadly now dead WoW forum thread about scammers.

It's early morning, and the sun is rising over Orgrimmar. Oxn, knapsack full to bursting, runs towards his friend and guild master, Caveman.

Oxn: Caveman! Caveman!
Caveman: Hey buddy.
Oxn: I jus scam man of 2 fousand mats!
Caveman: Oxn, you evil man. You rock.
Oxn: I like rocks.
Caveman: No, I mean you rule.
Oxn: OXN GOOD!
Caveman: That's right. Nice work.
Oxn: Hug Oxn?
Caveman: Sure, buddy.

Caveman leans over and gives Oxn a big hug. Oxn visibly relaxes and lets out a little sorrowful sniff.

Oxn: Man hurt me after scam
Caveman: Aww, dude, your arm's bruised.
Oxn: Hurting :*(
Caveman: There there buddy, it's ok. I'll protect you.
Oxn: Dad?
Caveman: No, no, I'm not your dad.
Oxn: Best friends?
Caveman: Yeah man. Buddies for ever.
Oxn: 4 eva!

Fellow DOOMSLAYERS OF DOOM member Enhärjarn appears as if out of nowhere.

Enhärjarn: Yeah, friends! Friends for ever!
Caveman: Hello?
Enhärjarn: Hey best buddy.
Caveman: Er, hi. And you are?
Enhärjarn: I'm Enhärjarn. Y'know, your good old pal. Buddies. Compadres.
Oxn: Compads?
Enhärjarn: Look under my name. Says DOOMSLAYERS OF DOOM. I'm in the guild.
Caveman: Oh yeah. Who invited you?
Enhärjarn: You did. C'mon Caveman, we're the best of friends! Been through thick and thin together, fighting side by side on the battlefield, all for one, one for all, brothers in arms!
Oxn: Brothers?
Enhärjarn: In arms! Brothers in arms. We're two sides of the same coin. Three sides, even, us three. I love you guys. We all love each other!
Oxn: M....Mom?
Caveman: He's not your mom.
Oxn: MOM!!!!
Caveman: It's ok Oxn, I'll deal with this.
Oxn: Sore hed.

Caveman pats Oxn on the head and turns to face Enhärjarn.

Caveman: Look, Enhärjarn, dude.
Enhärjarn: Yeah?
Caveman: Er, how do I put this? You're coming on a bit strong. Overfamiliar, even.
Enhärjarn: Brotherly love knows no boundaries, Caveman.
Caveman: Ok, I'm gonna come straight out with it. Do you... like men?
Enhärjarn: Do I like men? But of course! The bonds forged in war are strong indeed, fierce, passionate brotherly love grows between we men, enduring hardship together.
Caveman: No, I mean, do you like men? Touching men?
Enhärjarn: The firm grip of another shaking my hand before battle? The manly slap on my shoulder after a job well done? The embrace of a powerful, husky warrior when we have slain our foes? The feel of his fist pounding over and over again into my..
Oxn: FACE!
Enhärjarn: Er, face, yes. Into my face.
Caveman: Well, that's sort of what I was asking.
Enhärjarn: Then yes. Yes, I love men!
Caveman: It's just that, well, you're coming across as a little bit... you know...
Enhärjarn: Friendly?

Enhärjarn walks forward and reaches out his arm.

Oxn: ARGH! Caveman, Caveman, he touch my special place!!
Caveman: Stop that!
Enhärjarn: But we're friends! This is what friends do.
Caveman: I SAID STOP THAT!
Oxn: Do he have to dad.
Caveman: I'm not your father, Oxn.
Oxn: Sorry.
Caveman: It's not right, what he's doing.
Oxn: I like.
Enhärjarn: See. Bit of brotherly love. Perfectly natural.
Caveman: Jesus...I think i'm gonna be sick.

Caveman doubles over and throws up onto the floor.

Oxn: I fink little Oxn just done a sick in my trousers.
Enhärjarn: Good boy.
Oxn: Fank u. Do you want some mats? I scamd 2k of em off a man.
Caveman: THAT'S IT! THAT IS IT! I've had enough. We're disbanding.
Oxn: Yay!