Hairmax Lasercomb
The Shed
Written by Murphy Simmonds   

By morning, Nancy's whole mind would be wiped

NOBODY wants to go bald, but it's got to be better than shooting yourself in the head with lasers.

Hair is a powerful thing. Whether you want more of it, less of it, or simply an improved version of what you already have, these clumped strings of keratinized protein fibres are curiously emotive. Place them on the right spot - the head, say - and the recipient instantly climbs two rungs on the attractiveness scale. But attach them to the wrong one - teeth, palms or eyeballs, for example - and the victim tumbles off the bottom of the graph entirely.

"This is the bleeding edge of techno hair care. At least until someone comes up with holographic curling tongs or a shaver that transforms into a Jet Ski"

Technology has largely kept pace with the incredible world of hair, providing exciting year on year developments in the important areas of drying, removal and adjustment. And yet those seeking new hair have been left short changed. Wigs, extensions, spray-on hair and drug treatment are all viable methods of putting back what Mother Nature takes away, but none of them sound like much fun for the gadget fan. There are no fancy buttons on a wig.

Steve couldn't get enough of his WiiSo what precisely is this Lasercomb? Well, you drag it over your head a few times a week and, so the manufacturers claim, it helps stave off your scalp's inevitable conversion to a bowling ball. According its sales pitch it’s the only way to make yourself genuinely hairier that doesn't involve downing drugs. Which sounds pretty good until you remember it works by shooting lasers directly into your head. And that’s mental.

More articles like this

Browse them all here

On the plus side, with a few modifications it may be possible to convert the revolutionary follicular science of the Lasercomb into a ray gun. Give it to your grandad for Christmas and flash, bang, bingo! No more Sunday lunchtimes talking about Countdown and jigsaws. If you’re really lucky, you might even get his bungalow.

 
0 Votes