RollZero - because most of the internet is rubbish

The internet. Never before has man had the means to communicate so swiftly and so easily with so many of his fellow men. And what does he do with it? He browses porn. He watches a kitten fall off a table. He calls somebody a retard for misquoting Star Wars. He plays that game where you hit a penguin with a baseball bat. In short, he consumes nothing of value and produces even less. It's thanks to him that the web is primarily a huge heap of worthless binary data.

But it's not all bad. Wikipedia is trying to bring all knowledge to all people, Google is helping us to answer our questions at the click of a finger and eBay is preventing us from ever having to actually see or touch people when we buy their old trousers. It's a brave new world, a bright, digital future filled with potential.  It makes us excited, scared and bored all at the same time.

That's where RollZero comes in. We lie somewhere between the Utopian dreamworld and the mound of crap. We can't tell you the chemical composition of aspartame, let you look up the lyrics to R Kelly's Gotham City or find you a cheap deal on a holiday to Greece, but we can do our best to make you laugh. Surely that's better than watching porn all day? Don't answer that.

Read on to for stupid letters of complaint, rants about technology and exceptionally nerdy stuff about videogames. Or view all the latest posts here.

The Shed

The Shed is supposed to be tech news. Three things prevent it from actually being tech news. (1) It's always late. (2) It contains no useful information. (3) It's written by a man who's scared of the future. Murphy Simmonds knows it's only a matter of time before robots rise up and kill us all, but he can't stop himself being drawn to gadgets and technology like a moth to a flame. We still haven't worked out why he lives in a shed.

Murphy Simmonds has been writing about videogames and gadgets for the UK press for five years. The Shed is published fortnightly.

Chad's Letters

Chad's Letters were discovered in an old attic. He has written to companies complaining about finding a shark in his mineral water, being teleported to Paris by his IKEA sofa, failing to get high on a bottle of "Crazy Milk" and quitting his cereal because it smells of wee. Remarkably, he generally gets a reply. The text of the letters and replies is transrcibed here at RollZero, together with pictures of the originals.

Chad Bradley's current whereabouts are unknown. Though we have never seen him, he occasionally sends us new letters.

Videogames

Our Videogames section is a bit focused on World of Warcraft, but there are some reviews in there too. Our main contributor, Pixelsmith, started creating spoof player guides and related bits of nonsense for his guild's website in 2006. Lost beneath bad design, we've rescued them and preserved them in all their geekish glory.

Pixelsmith played World of Warcraft for three years and was a guild leader for two-and-a-half. He's currently working on completing the tale of his Geek Adventure.