RollZero is the website of Pixelsmith, a journalist from England. He writes funny complaint letters as Chad Bradley; posts angry tech news as Murphy Simmonds; witters about his life in Pix's Column and sends out weekly nonsense in the Electric Letter (sign up for that above). 
 Chad's Letters | Pixelsmith Dear British Egg Information Service - First things first. Thank you ever so much for being involved with eggs. I love eggs. I can stare at them for hours on end before getting bored. I have become so familiar with them that I can successfully identify which end is the pointy one with my eyes closed, using touch alone. I can also guess whether an egg is boiled or not boiled with an accuracy rate of almost 50%. This is how much I like eggs.I am writing to you because I would like to make an enquiry, and I... Continued
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The Shed 80 per cent of the web is flesh coloured. We can't remember where we heard that statistic - probably our own heads - but it tells us that most of the data pinging across... Continued
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Pix's Column A MAN needs a hat. I think that's written down somewhere, in the big book of things a man needs to own if he is to be considered a man. A hat, that's one. A watch, there... Continued
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Pix's Column MR KIPLING is bad in bed. This bombshell was dropped during a TV ad break last weekend and the sheer shock of it immediately smashed at least three distinct taboos in my... Continued
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The Shed Remember internet fridges? Obviously you don't, because they never really happened, but there was a time when they were being touted as the next big thing. The idea was ... Continued
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The Shed Apple should make a dildo. The fancy pants tech giant behind the iPod, iMac, iPhone and now the upcoming iPad has a knack of making stuff we've successfully ignored for ... Continued
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Pix's Column LAST month, I turned into a 30-year-old. This threw up a number of problems, chief among which was the acknowledgement that I am now, irrefutably, an adult and am thus o... Continued
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The Shed People. Look at people. Aren't they stupid? Look at the way they move, tottering and waddling about on the long, thick arms that stick out of their arses. Legs, they cal... Continued
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Reviews Bayonetta's got guns on her feet. She also beats angels to death, wears a catsuit made from her own hair and randomly sprouts butterfly wings from her shoulders, but eve... Continued
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Chad's Letters Dear Dairy Crest - I recently partook of your Crazy Milk Drink. I chose the Strawberry Flavour and drank it all in one go. It was exceptionally tasty but ultimately disa... Continued
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Random Guff PART three in a theoretically endless series of painfully invasive internal examinations of the beautiful men and women of The Bruces, a World of Warcraft guild on the A... Continued
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Sexy Chats Cybersex. In this age of broadband video streaming, a small corner of the internet still enjoys gettings its rocks off via text alone. Fair enough - whatever floats your... Continued
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Geek Adventure We woke up around noon with a hangover. Today would see the arrival of Aakarp, a friend of Maddok and Morani from their recent student days and a member of our geeky Int... Continued
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