RollZero is the website of Pixelsmith, a journalist from England. He writes funny complaint letters as Chad Bradley; posts angry tech news as Murphy Simmonds; witters about his life in Pix's Column and sends out weekly nonsense in the Electric Letter (sign up for that above).
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3D Porn

The Shed | Murphy Simmonds | Tue 2 March 2010

80 per cent of the web is flesh coloured. We can't remember where we heard that statistic - probably our own heads - but it tells us that most of the data pinging across the intertubes is filth. Crazy, eh? We wouldn't know. The rudest thing we've ever seen is a drawing of a bra that we did ourselves just now. In fact, you'll have to excuse us for 15 minutes.

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A Man Needs a Hat

Pix's Column | 22 Feb

A MAN needs a hat. I think that's written down somewhere, in the big book of things a man needs to own if he is to be considered a man. A hat, that's one. A watch, there...

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Internet Everything

The Shed | 15 Feb

Remember internet fridges? Obviously you don't, because they never really happened, but there was a time when they were being touted as the next big thing. The idea was ...

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iRod, Apple dildo

The Shed | 8 Feb

Apple should make a dildo. The fancy pants tech giant behind the iPod, iMac, iPhone and now the upcoming iPad has a knack of making stuff we've successfully ignored for ...

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No More Threesomes

Pix's Column | 4 Feb

LAST month, I turned into a 30-year-old. This threw up a number of problems, chief among which was the acknowledgement that I am now, irrefutably, an adult and am thus o...

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Segway Killer

The Shed | 31 Jan

People. Look at people. Aren't they stupid? Look at the way they move, tottering and waddling about on the long, thick arms that stick out of their arses. Legs, they cal...

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Bayonetta

Reviews | 26 Jan

Bayonetta's got guns on her feet. She also beats angels to death, wears a catsuit made from her own hair and randomly sprouts butterfly wings from her shoulders, but eve...

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Games of 2010

Reviews | 19 Jan

Remember 2009? No, us neither. We're all about 2010 here, and the fact that we can't decide whether to call it "two thousand and ten", "twenty ten" or "ten past eight" i...

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Turning 30

Pix's Column | 14 Jan

I turned 30 last week. I was expecting big things, hoping that my clock would flick from 19 minutes past midnight to 20 minutes past - the time of my birth - and I would...

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Phototrackr Pic Locater

The Shed

If there's one movie that has succeeded in putting the absolute fear of God into us, it's The Bourne Ultimatum. In it, an amnesiac Matt Damon jets off to a series of exo...

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Reindeer and Licorice

Geek Adventure

I headed back to Brodos to deliver the good news and we began sizing up our provisions. We had: half a bottle of water each; eight small bottles of Schnapps; a large pac...

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Goats, Geeks and Booze

Geek Adventure

Breakfast in Sweden is largely similar to breakfast in England, with toast, cereal, dairy products, hot beverages, chairs, tables, cutlery and crockery are all present a...

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Don't Call Me Solid

Pix's Column

FIFTEEN men. 15 women. Add paper, pens and a person with a whistle and the result is what's known as "speed dating". You may have spotted that I've been banging on about...

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