The Dr00d is the World of Warcraft’s rarest class. It is an extremely versatile and rubbish “hybrid” class, with the tanking abilities of a naked Warior, the DPS of a bad Rouge, the healing powers of an incompetent Preist and the spellcasting skills of a half dead Mag. The Dr00d also has the largest range of dance moves in the game.

The Dr00d’s defining feature is its ability to shift into a range of animal forms - essentially hairier versions of other, better classes, with more legs. Here’s a guide to the basic ones:

Dog

The Dog is a smarter version of the Warior, designed to withstand large amounts of melee damage and keep aggro off other classes. This is made tricky for the Dr00d by its cloth armor and the lack of any abilities which generate threat.

Fish

The Fish form boosts the Dr00d’s swimming speed and grants it the ability to suck the nutrients off small rocks for a slight health boost. The Alliance quest line to attain Fish form involves talking to an NPC, while the Horde quest line takes the Dr00d to every major town, city and mob in Azeroth over a period of 14 weeks.

Bee

The Bee form allows the Dr00d to create honey. This can be eaten as a snack or used to stick small items together, e.g. pieces of paper.

Chicken

Chicken form is a top tier Dr00d talent which gives access to a handy instant OOM ability - a devastating counter to enemy mana drain spells.

Man

The Man form emulates the healing ability of a Preist as played by a person with no hands, eyes or computer. A good Dr00d healer can keep a main tank alive for almost 40 seconds.

Chimp

This form, acquired at level 50, gives the Dr00d the ability to get up to all manner of cute and hilarious antics, such as dressing up in suits and bowler hats, holding tea parties, driving around in funny little cars and masturbating on swings.

Tricks of the trade - the tactics that will help you become the greatest WoW player.

(1) Well prepared Dr00ds carry a range of different armor sets in their bags, for different situations. Don’t waste vital item space like them.

(2) Chicken form Dr00ds can lay enough eggs to sustain an entire raid.

(3) If you see a large number of enemies approaching, shift into your Bear form and begin munching on a bush. You may fool them.

(4) For ease of access, bind the Moonfire spell to all letter, number and function keys.

(5) Beware of Huntards. Many of Warcraft’s greatest Dr00ds have ended their careers in an enemy stable. If you hear a whipping noise, you have 15 seconds to find and kill the Huntard who is attempting to train you, or your character will be enslaved forever.

Thank you for reading my Elite Guide to Dr00ds. Hopefully one day I will see you on the battlefield and you will kill me with what you have learned.