| Electric Letter #5 |
| Electric Letter | |||
| Written by Pixelsmith | |||
| Monday, 08 June 2009 19:37 | |||
Like this? Get it delivered directly to your inbox by popping your email address in the little box up there at the top of the page.RollZero Electric Letter #5 - June 8, 2009 Good day and welcome to RollZero's Electric Letter, the only weekly communication in the entire world to arrive in front of your face via the medium of computers. We use the most advanced technology ever conceived to convert text into ones and zeroes and pipe it down a tube directly into your life. We call it "email", but you can call it whatever you like. We had a break last week because of a dental operation which entailed six days off work. That ought to mean we had loads of spare time, and it did mean that, but we spent it eating ice cream and soup with our temporarily deformed mouth instead of doing constructive things. We played Left 4 Dead a bit as well. But one week off is quite enough! We've missed you. So here are some things for you to look at. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- RollZero Stuff Chad reaches the end of his letter archive with a complaint to cold sore cream makers Zovirax, whose TV advert featured an attractive woman swimming in a motorbike helmet. When Chad copied it, he nearly drowned. http://www.rollzero.com/chads-letters/191-a-letter-to-zovirax The end of Chad's archive means our heroic young customer service warrior has penned a new batch of modern-day complaints. He's got four replies so far, and they'll be going up on the site every Friday. Here's a very brief preview: http://www.rollzero.com/chads-letters/217-chads-on-holiday We review games sometimes. We know how aggravating it is when some two-bit website thinks it's some kind of proper critic, but we don't care because that's exactly what we're doing. Like with this thing on that Wolverine game: http://www.rollzero.com/videogames/reviews/214 Getting angry about technology is Murphy Simmonds' middle name. He's actually quite nice when you meet him, if you can ignore the fact that he's always naked. He wrote this thing about a calendar machine for all the family: http://www.rollzero.com/the-shed/184-a-calendar-machine Two Geek Adventure entries since last time, for anyone who's been following: http://www.rollzero.com/videogames/geek-adventure/205 http://www.rollzero.com/videogames/geek-adventure/206 -------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the Meaning of This? A poem by Chad Bradley What is the meaning of this? Kindly remove yourself at once: This is my personal study time And I do not - I repeat “Do Not” - Take consultations outside of office hours. Oh what, pray, is the meaning of this? What drove you to barge in here And ruin my day? My time is valuable And I have no intention of wasting it On the likes of you. Really, what is the meaning of this? It had better be good. I am a busy man With no time for fannying about. I urge you to explain quickly Or you will be asked to leave. Again. Fin -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Links from the Cyber Network Life is beautiful and/or sad A pretty short and rather nice video. Bit cheesy perhaps but we don't mind that: http://vimeo.com/4155700 Pimp Vader You'll have seen this if you've been anywhere near the internet in the last three years, but on the off-chance that you haven't, it is bloody hilarious. James Earl Jones' other roles (maybe just one other role, we have no idea) dubbed over Star Wars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A0rwG39Jzk Infinite rubber Somebody's come up with an eraser that never wears out. They're going to have to stop inventing things soon because it's getting silly. http://www.cataci.com/shop/en/product Charge your phone with your actual body Somebody's come up with a charger that sucks out your energy and puts it in your gadgets. They're going to have to stop inventing things soon because oh we said that. http://www.ecogeek.org/content/view/2782/ Painty music Wave your mouse around while a French song plays and it goes all swooshy. Very pretty. http://soytuaire.labuat.com/ The world's best fridge We'll all have one of these in 2015: http://student.designawards.com.au/application -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ear Cake Secta Chameleon - More Than a Feelin' Faintly grimy bass noises going "moop" while a foreign-sounding lady sings words. Great video n all. http://www.vimeo.com/3421240 Norwegian Recycling - Viva La Viral We really like mashups, largely because they make it acceptable to listen to music you wouldn't normally like because somebody clever has reached in and had a muck about with it. Bon Jovi, Coldplay and Kelly Clarkson are in this one, alongside Empire of the Sun and the Killers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dVCKq4_l6Y -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lastly Our attempts to contact SquirrelKing and secure a new installment in the amazing Halflife: Fulllife Consequences saga have hit a brick wall. We might have to actually send him money by Paypal and see if he writes on. That's got to be worth a bit. In the meantime, we're going to respond to this communications blackout in the only way we know how - plagiarism. So here's another complete SquirrelKing original, copied AND pasted from fanfiction.net. Metal Gear Solid: Fight of Metal Gears Solid Snake was old and died before and his kid Jake Snake had to do things now for the world. Jake Snake growed up with Solid Snake and helped him beat metal gears but now Solid Snake was not there anymore and only Jake Snake was. "Solid Snake what happens when you die" Jake Snake asked Solid Snake one time. "It will be you left to beat the bad guys in the world and do what needs to be done." Solid Snake said to Jake Snake then he died later. Jake Snake got a call from Otacon and Otacon said "Jake Snake metal gears are fighting in Out Heaven and you have to go there to fight them" so Jake Snake said "Otacon you were Solid Snakes friend and i want you to be my friend so i will fight metal gears too" so he left to Out Heaven to fight metal gears. Jake Snake got his wepons and cigars becaus he didnt smoke cigarets and got on a plane and drove fast to Out Heaven to get where metal gears were fighting there. Jake Snake got to the top of the sky near where metal gears were fighting and put on autopilots and flipped out of the plane. Jake Snakes parashoot didnt open so he landed in water and swimmed to fighting metal gears. Jake Snake got out of the water and crawled fast and quiet to where metal gears were. Jake Snake pickd up a rocket gun and crawled faster and quiet so metal gears couldnt see him there. Jake Snake stoped and smoked a cigar becaus he was tired then out of no where Otacon came on the phone and yelled "JAKE SNAKE BEHIND YOU!' so Jake Snake turned around and saw a bad guy with weapon pointed at Jake Snake. "Why are you working for bad guys" Jake Snake told the bad guy with the weapon "Becaus they hav metal gears and hav weapons that shoot lasers" the bad guy said back to Jake Snake. Then Jake Snake said "I have lasers too" and brought it out of his pocket where it was hiding and shot the bad guy in teh face. "I dont like bad guys like that" Jake Snake said to the dead bad guy then he threw his cigar on him and he lighted on fire. Jake Snake crawled fast again to where metal gears were fihgting becaus he could hear the bullets and booms. Jake Snake brought out his rocket gun and shot a rocket at a metal gear and the metal gear blew up and fell. Other metal gears came when the boom happened and came to Jake Snake who was crawling fast in bushes. "They saw me" Jake Snake said so he put on camoflosh and disapeard. "Where did he go" a metal gear said to the other metal gears "Over there" and the metal gears shot at the bushs but they only hit ground and nothing. Then Jake Snake said "i am here you bad guys" and was behind them. The metal gears turned around and saw Jake Snake in a metal gear that Jake Snake hided somewhere. "Solid Snake fighted you bad guys and now i have to. you will pay fools" Jake Snake said. Then Jake Snake and the metal gears shot bullets and rockets and lasers and there was a lot of booms and dust came. The dust went away and Jake Snake was still in his metal gear but the other ones were there too and they said "We have armor Jake Snake" and Jake Snake said "What about this?" and shot something special at them. to be continued...? -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scram! Be off with you. That's the last time you'll get away with stealing fruit from our orchard, you scamp. Next time we'll tell your mother, and after that we're releasing the bear. Can bears climb trees? You'll have to find out yourself. Send us a link, or say hello: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Follow us on Twitter: @chadbrad, @pixelsmith or @gm_wint Remove us from your lives: [SUBSCRIPTIONS]
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