The advert Chad's writing about is from millions of years ago in the past. Some site we'd never heard of before has the video, which you can watch by clicking the little thingy below. They make you login though, which is annoying.

Dear Zovirax,

I am a great fan of your cold-sore cream and the accompanying advertising campaign. I rarely fail to be amazed when I discover that the shy courier in the helmet is in fact a beautiful lady with good quality hair. Some months ago, repeated viewings of the advert began to brew in me a deep curiosity, about the life of the courier prior to her discovery of your highly effective yet reasonably priced product.

“I wonder if she sleeps in her helmet”, I often mused, regularly concluding that exact thought with the phrase, “I bet she does”, and a cheerful smile. So prominent in my mind was the young lady (who I came to know as ‘Petunia’) that I too decided to try wearing a motorcycle helmet all the time. I hoped to gain some insight into Petunia’s motivations – if I understood her, I figured, perhaps I could help others with the same affliction.

I found my new life difficult at first, surviving only on soup (consumed through a straw) and unable to go into banks for fear of arrest. My study of the life of the permanently helmeted led me to try the activities in which Petunia engaged in your advertisement. I found aerobics surprisingly simple, and the actual riding of a motorcycle was an exhilarating experience. If only I had stopped there…

Swimming, dear people of Zovirax, was my downfall. I was quite a competent swimmer - although butterfly stroke had always eluded me - but breaststroke in a helmet was a terrible mistake. The inside of the helmet quickly filled with water and I, stubborn and unwilling to taint the purity of my experiment, nearly drowned. Had the cast of Baywatch not been visiting the pool on a promotional tour, my error could have been fatal.

I am afraid that I must hold your advertising campaign responsible for my foolish actions. I am clearly not the sort of person to whom images of young ladies with good quality hair, swimming in helmets, should be shown. I do not blame any of you personally - indeed, I have already assumed that you are all very nice people - but I feel I must complain. If I can save just one person from drowning in a motorcycle helmet by bringing this problem to your attention, then the time taken to write this letter will have been well spent.

Yours, no longer with helmet.

For miniature Chad Bradley-isms and amazing pieces of idiot wisdom, follow him on Twitter. Or use it to request letter ideas.

Thank you for your recent letter and please accept our sincerest apologies for the delay in replying.

May we assure you that, before broadcasting an advert, extensive consumer research is carried out, as we are anxious to maintain our reputation for high quality.

We very much regret that you have felt the need to complain about our advert, however, your feedback is extremely valuable to us, and we appreciate your taking the time to let us know your views. We will certainly be highlighting your comments to the relevant departments.

We would like to thank you for bringing this matter to our attention and as a gesture of goodwill, we hope you will accept the enclosed vouchers with our compliments.

Yours sincerely

Indecipherable Squiggle

Consumer Affair Department

GLAXOSMITHKLINE CONSUMER HEALTHCARE

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