Dear Bostik,

I am a great fan of Blu-Tack, the handy blue tack that enables temporary to semi-permanent tacking of lightweight items to dry surfaces throughout the home, office or truck. There is no doubt in my mind that Blu-Tack is the UK’s best tack, a world away from lesser imitations like White-Tack and Tic-Tacs.

No matter where I go in life, Blu-Tack has been there to help me. When I forgot to buy food before throwing a posh dinner party, I merely Blu-Tacked an apologetic note to my front door and hid in the bath. And when I was abducted and ransomed by Cornish rebels, I covered the palms of my hands and soles of my feet in Blu-Tack, then simply scrambled up the wall of my prison and escaped through a hole in the roof. Just kidding!

But speaking of roofs, have you ever got Blu-Tack stuck to the roof of your mouth? You have to dry your mouth with kitchen roll first, but it will stick. It’s rather unpleasant!

Down to business. The reason I am writing splits into two – remarkably like a lump of Blu-Tack, in fact. My first reason was, and still is, to express all of the above. My second is to state the following.

I have an angry complaint to make about your product. Last week I entered a well-known stationery shop to buy some Blu-Tack. Plucking one from the shelf, I approached the counter and waved it cheerfully at the till boy. While he was bleeping it with the bleeping machine so many of these shops seem to have nowadays, I politely asked him if he agreed that the weather had been nice lately. Imagine my alarm when he told me No! he did not agree, and would I please shut up.

It goes without saying that I was flabbergasted. Your normally high standards of customer service dropped several levels that day, and I have not purchased Blu-Tack since. Indeed I will not do so until I receive a full apology from you.

Yours, rather angrily,

Chad Bradley.

Dear Sir

Thank you for your letter dated 10 February 2005 regarding Bostik Blu-Tack

May we firstly point out that under current legislation your rights of complaint lie initially with the shop where the product was purchased and not with the manufacturer

We have read your letter very carefully and we believe that the problem was caused by the customer service provided by the retailer, over whom we have no control, and not with the quality of the product

We would suggest therefore that you take the matter up with the manager of the store in question who may be able to assist you with your difficulty

Yours faithfully,

For..... Bostik Limited

D Ward

Technical Service Construction SBU