Carapelli Spread
Chad's Letters
Written by Chad Bradley   

Dear Dairy Crest,

What’s the best thing on my bread?
Not butter – something else instead!
It’s the best thing on my toast,
It’s the spread I love the best…

Carapelli! Firenze! There’s nothing I like more than sitting down with some freshly burned toast and slathering on plenty of Carapelli Firenze with a big spoon, then eating the delicious result. Mngh…

I am writing to you to show you my poem (above) and to tell you about something that happened about the my most recently tub o’Carapelli..

There was nothing odd (car)a(pelli)bout the tub – it looked normal, and it tasted normal too (or rather, ‘carapellinormal’, or ‘delicious’). I bought it on Monday August 4th, and ate a little on some sandwich carrots that evening. I put it back in the fridge, with the lid on to stop smells from invading, and went to bed. The next morning, I opened the fridge to find that my tub had morphed into a bag of spanners. A cloth bag full of big rusty spanners. How odd!

Has this happened to any of your other customers? It has certainly never happened to me before. I had some cheese in my fridge once that went mouldy, but that’s not really the same. I do love Carapelli Firenze, but I’m afraid I must insist on some compensation. True, a whole bag of spanners would normally be compensation enough for one morphed tub of spread, but my new spanners are too rusty to be worth anything.

Please get in touch.
Yours, Chad Bradley.

Dear Mr Bradley,

Further to your letter regarding the problem you have experienced with your recent purchase of Carapelli, the like of which we have never heard of before. The engineers were intrigued until they heard that they were rusty spanners!

I hope this encounter has not deterred you from buying Carapelli. Please accept the enclosed product voucher as a goodwill gesture.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs Eve Saunders
Consumer Care Advisor

Enc: 1 x Product Voucher

< Prev   Next >
 
4 Votes

7 Comments

  1. Butterface makes this comment

    Mon 19 Jan 2009 02:46:52 CST

    That happened to me too. Except it was hammers. Weird.

  2. Pixelsmith makes this comment

    Mon 19 Jan 2009 02:51:05 CST

    Very weird.

  3. Original makes this comment

    Mon 19 Jan 2009 02:59:37 CST

    I find it amazing they sent a free voucher for what was obviously an entertaining, yet blatant lie. Maybe I should get in contact with Sony Ericcson and tell them my phone turned into a bar of soap over night.

  4. Stratos makes this comment

    Mon 19 Jan 2009 21:33:27 CST

    What a strange coincidence, i seem to be missing a sack full of rusty nails and a few hammers. But i did find two tubs of carapelli in my shed? What a coincidence!

  5. ˙˙˙ʍoɥ s,əɹəɥ makes this comment

    Sat 28 Mar 2009 05:57:20 CDT

    So strange, my car wouldn't start this morning. i thought i could fix it by tightening a bolt or two. but even after " slathering on plenty of Carapelli Firenze with a big spoon" it is still not running. Looking to trade a number of nearly full creamy tubs of carapelli for hardware [new or used]... ˙˙˙pɹıǝʍ os

  6. James makes this comment

    Wed 01 Apr 2009 00:11:53 CDT

    I love the reply!!
    The engineers were intrigued until they heard that they were rusty spanners!
    I guess it's more common for Carapelli to turn into rusty spanners as oppose to untarnished spanners...

  7. Data Lists makes this comment

    Thu 21 May 2009 14:33:13 CDT

    Very weird indeed.

Add Comment